The Pipe of Port - Southend

Southend in Essex is famous for a couple of things, the worlds longest pleasure pier (and the subsequent disasters that seem to regularly befall it), and the beaches, which every summer play host to the dog eared and sadly faded Victorian glamour that only a day at a British seaside resort can provide. What Southend regrettably is not famous for, is it's food. In fact, for a town of it's size, with it's proximity to the sea and the availability of fresh seafood, the choice and quality on offer is shocking...I'd even go as far to say, abysmal. I'd seriously struggle to recommend anywhere decent to eat if I was asked.

But, here and there, among the sheer endless, turgid, characterless, greyness provided by the nationwide restaurant and pub chains which seem to have a complete monopoly on many a British high Street nowadays, the odd beacon of hope glimmers. In Southend, adrift on a life-raft, riding this sea of banality is The Pipe of Port.

Something of a Southend Institution, this wine bar/restaurant first opened it's doors in 1976. Located just off the high street and down a flight of stairs this dark, wood panelled, flickering candlelit, sawdust on flagstones cellar bar is surprisingly atmospheric, cultivating the almost Dickensian image of a Georgian style chop house with it's dark, snug, booths, and bench type seating.

The food, not deviating from the image presented by the interior, is described by Harden's as "English Traditional Rustic" which is fine by me. In fact, I was there to sample a particularly traditional type of English dish that the Pipe of Port is rightly famous for.... the Pie.

Mention the Pipe of Port to anyone who's eaten there, and they'll mention the homemade pies. They're so famous in fact, that they're now being produced and sold in Delicatessens for cooking and serving up at home (Although, these pies may contain the same fillings and perhaps even the same pastry I strongly suspect they just cannot compare in sheer girth to the whopping pies that are served up in the basement wine bar - accept no substitute).

With all this in mind, visiting Saturday lunchtime, I surveyed the short but tempting selection of "celebrated pies" The GF opting for the "very large" (as helpfully described by the menu) steak, kidney and mushroom pie. I went for the "equally large" chicken and chestnut pie. These were priced at £9-35 each, both coming with a choice of boiled, sauteed or baked potatoes. (The remaining choice of pies on the menu being 'pork, plum and Celery', 'vegetarian' or a 'Trawler Pie under creamy mash, topped with cheese').

The pies when they arrived were something to behold deposited on the table with side portions of boiled potatoes, huge steaming pie dishes completed, in the case of my chicken and chestnut pie with a towering flaky crust lid. The GF's steak and kidney pie was topped with some very nice shortcrust pasty. A gorgeous, rich, strong, meat and aromatic sage smell wafted from the pies into the void between us across the table.

I broke through the golden lid to be confronted by the steaming chicken and chestnut filling, the aroma was amazing. Digging deep into the gravy filled well for a forkful, I exclaimed to my partner in Pie "Look at the size of that" spearing a huge chunk of chicken glistening and dripping, holding it aloft for brief inspection before shoving it into my mouth. Seriously good, rich and tasty - down the years I've eaten my fair share of pies and this before me was a shining example of the pie makers skill.

Across the table my GF was busy demolishing her Steak, Kidney and Mushroom pie and - obviously.... I had to have a try. It was equally impressive, thick gravy, pungent with the smell of Sage, large chunks of soft steak and kidney with a beautiful shortcrust pastry. Again, outstanding.

Between the two of us, we managed to eat both pies and accompanying potatoes - but only just. The sheer size of these pies have to be seen to be appreciated. It's a serious exercise in lunchtime eating to finish one.

Bill paid, we staggered happily, full and heavy up the stairs from the subterranean cellars into another world, squinting, and shielding our eyes momentarily in the bright October sunlit afternoon.

The Pipe of Port is rightly famous for it's excellent pies. I think It's fantastic to see an independent Wine Bar/Restaurant/Producer in Southend excelling at the food it produces (Utopia Cafe for it's incredible coffee is another), I wish there were more like them. Southend (and in fact Britain as a whole) needs more great quality independent restaurants and pubs to take on the chains which, are slowly sucking the life and character out of the British high street... methodically replacing what was once interesting with bland, identikit and soulless.

Vote with your feet.

The Pipe of Port

84 High Street
Southend-on-Sea
SS1 1JN

Telephone: 01702 614606

http://www.pipeofport.com

My Kitchen - Leigh-on-Sea.

As the crow flies, the closest restaurant to where I live is 'My Kitchen' a vegetarian restaurant on the Leigh Road, a mere 5 minute amble away. But, being a rampant carnivore, I've dismissed it out of hand. Don't get me wrong, I've admired the look of the place while tramping past on some errand or other, but Vegetarian to me says bearded, threadbare jumper wearing, lentil munching devotees to the mung bean.
Keep your Nut Cutlets, I'm sure your Tofu burger is very tasty indeed....Not for me thank you.

How wrong could I be?

Lately reports have been filtering back to me that the food in 'My Kitchen' is excellent, snippets of Halloumi this and Pan fried potato this have caught my interest. Enough is enough, I just had to try this for myself. And, I'm happy to report - I was very wrong. In fact, My Kitchen is the best local restaurant I've eaten in by a long chalk. Inventive and impressively cooked food in a relaxed almost Parisian Bistro like environment - and incredibly good value for money. Hallelujah - I'm a convert!!!

So now, your no doubt wondering what did I eat to bring about this Road to Damascus style conversion to the ways of the non-meat eater...

To start, Sauteed Potatoes, and Kale with a Poached Duck Egg. A simple dish, but extremely tasty and well cooked. I Can't fault this, beautifully cooked potatoes with lightly cooked crisp Kale and a rich creamy yolked duck egg. Lovely stuff.

Onto the Mains, Porcini and Cup Mushroom Risotto with roast Garlic and Parmesan. Another cracking dish, very rich and a huge portion to boot - perhaps a bit too much cooking liqueur, my preference for risottos normally being slightly thicker and stickier but as it was so tasty I can't complain too much. I cleared the plate.

The Girlfriend, who had started eating her starter of Almond Pesto, Mozzarella, Olive and Rocket Salad before I could get a decent photo (When will she learn eh?) was extremely happy, and was almost delirious when the dish above arrived as her main course.
Beer Battered Halloumi with Chunky Chips, Mushy Peas and Lemon Mayo. She'd definitely picked a winner here, the chunky chips were incredible, quite possibly the best I've sampled anywhere. Perfectly light and crisp on the outside, floury and fluffy on the inside. (I complimented the Chef on these later in the evening, and asked what his secret was, his cooking method was fairly standard, but attributed the chip success to incredible local potatoes supplied by a friend, being perfectly in season - declaring something like "In a few more weeks, they won't taste as good as this.")

I decided to share a dessert with the GF, opting for Strawberry Cheesecake. Once again, a huge portion so easily enough to share. Wow, I've eaten a lot of cheesecakes over the years and this was a really good example, rich, full of flavour and creamy.

So, two courses each, a dessert to share, a glass of wine, two beers.....£40!! That's right, you heard correctly, I'll say it again - £40! Incredible value, and extremely good food. If this rampant carnivore can come away impressed, believe me - they're doing something very right. Highly recommended.

My Kitchen

80 Leigh Road

Leigh-on-Sea, Essex.

SS9 1BZ

Telephone: 01702 719222

La Petite Petanque - Southend

Whenever I visit Southend, I often pass the forlorn, closed and boarded up Alexandra Bowling Green Pavilion in the lovely Victorian Clifftown Conservation area just on the edge of the town, and without fail say the same thing to my GF....."That would make a fantastic restaurant".

Well it seems the owners of San Fairie Ann, a successful restaurant just round the corner in Alexandra Road have been thinking the same thing.

La Petite Petanque, a Cafe-Bistro opened a few weeks ago, and the new owners have obviously refurbished the Victorian Pavilion building to an extremely high standard, which is lovely to see. I hate to see fantastic old buildings such as this one fall into disrepair. They have so much character and history, they deserve to be looked after.

I visited on a Sunday for lunch, a typical British summers day with the Sun making the odd appearance out from behind the clouds, but the threat of rain ever present. The lush emerald grass of the Bowling Green in the middle of the pretty Victorian Square with the Pavilion sitting at one end, large Union Jack fluttering in the breeze. People seated outside and sitting under the open terrace framed with ancient wisteria....It presented an almost timeless picture, and could have been anytime from the late 1800's to the 1950's.

We briefly passed through the restaurant which has been refurbished in the style of a French Bistro, a baby grand piano sitting at one end, and opted to sit outside on the terrace, to study the menu.

I went for the club sandwich which the menu told me consisted of Chicken, Red Onion, Tomato, Egg Mayonnaise, Avocado Cream and Bacon. This came with hand cooked vegetable chips and a green salad.

The GF ordered off the chalked specials board, a Mediterranean roast vegetable quiche with salad. We ordered a couple of bowls of chips as a side order.

The terrace area was busy, and service was brisk and efficient. The food arrived quickly and I'm pleased to say my Club Sandwich was pretty good. The GF had made the better choice, the quiche was delicious with a nice strong cheese taste and light pastry.

Onto the gripes, albeit minor ones. My vegetable chips were a bit lacklustre, they lacked bite and were a bit tasteless and soft. The Club Sandwich lacked Seasoning. the side orders of chips were OK, a bit soft perhaps- I think crisp frites would work much better and be more in keeping with the Bistro vibe. Also, the green salad could do with a bit more dressing.

As for the menu, I was extremely pleased to see that the Breakfast section, available till 12 is very homegrown- Full English, Porridge, Kippers....but the lunch choices appear to jump all over the Mediterranean.
Personally, In keeping with the sheer timeless British look of the place, I'd like to see the menu emphasis on a more seasonal, good standard British menu. Think Mark Hix but obviously quite a few notches down the scale. But It's early days yet, so perhaps some tweaking will follow.

But for all that, the food was good. The surroundings are about as pleasant as you can get. The terrace is an extremely nice place to sit and eat lunch. I could quite happily while away the hours sitting there, especially if the Sun puts in an appearance.
The refurbishment is cracking, so all credit to the owners for breathing life back into the old building. It's a pity that due to it's location in the conservation area that it's only open till 7pm, It would be lovely place to sit and eat on a summers evening.

Overall - La Petite Petanque is a credit to Southend, I'll certainly be visiting again.

La Petite Petanque
Alexandra Bowling Green Pavilion
Cambridge Road
Southend.

Breakfast on the Seafront - Sands Bistro.

On Sunday, once again, the sun was shining. What better way to get this gorgeous spring day started on the right foot than breakfast on the seafront.

A new restaurant has recently opened pretty close to Southend Pier, Sands Bistro and Bar.
I'd eaten breakfast in there before, and it was pretty good, and pretty reasonable.
Feeling particularly generous, I declared I'd treat my partner to breakfast, struck dumb and in a state of mute shock I led her downstairs to the car for the short drive down the seafront.

After grabbing a parking space more or less opposite, we grabbed a table and admired the restaurant space, very nice indeed, flooded with natural light. The dining room is a large cylindrical shape, with a curved bar and reception area on one side, and floor to ceiling windows on the other....offering a view down the beautiful Thames Estuary.....but only if your standing (or lying down!)....the windows being split in two by a crossbar that is perfectly positioned at the correct height to obscure the view of the seafront to the seated diner.

Musing of this design flaw, I studied the menu and opted for the 'Sands Classic Breakfast' which according to the menu consists of 2 bacon, 1 butchers Cumberland sausage, 1 egg (cooked to your liking), Grilled Tomatoes, Baked Beans and Mushrooms. I also ordered a coffee. My partner, being petite and a girl to boot ordered a children's breakfast. I thought it fair to warn her, to save later disappointment that it probably didn't come with a toy or colouring pencils. This comment went down as well as you'd imagine.
Our drinks arrived, and the coffee was excellent....a good sign I thought optimistically.
Our breakfasts arrived and I'll be brutally honest - it was OK....bordering on good, but not a patch on the breakfast I had for the same price at Bills Produce Store in Brighton recently.
There appeared to be a bit of a problem with the service, I know it was Mothers Day and traditionally an extremely busy day for restaurants up and down the country...but....
The waitress didn't ask how I wanted my egg 'cooked to my liking'....
"poached!!!"
I had to scream at her back as she retreated to the kitchen.
I had to ask for napkins as my partner with the children's breakfast was covered in it. (Just kidding honey!)
Not once was I asked whether my food was OK - which as far as I'm concerned is a cardinal sin of good service.
I wasn't able to get the attention of the staff to pay, so ended up having to drag my bursting at the seams carcass up to the front desk and more or less force them to accept payment.
but no tip, the service was poor and they didn't deserve it.

I have eaten here a couple of months back, and the breakfast was better and the service was excellent - so I'm going to put it down to an off-day perhaps, although the coffee is very good.
I want them to do well, the restaurant is a lovely space.

The Evening Menu looked interesting, so I'll be visiting again soon to sample that, and maybe next time I'll leave a tip.

Sands Bistro / Restaurant
Icon Building
Western Esplanade
Southend-on-Sea
SS1 1EE

http://www.sandsbistro.co.uk/